12 Things Parents Would Ask For If They Were The Ones Sitting On Santa’s Lap:
1. Just a single day where you don’t have to ask anyone about their poop. You don’t have to examine a diaper and you don’t have to sniff something to find out if it’s poop. Better yet, a whole day where the word “poop” is never spoken.
2. An alarm clock that gets to actually go off and not be preempted by a horde of children doing parkour onto your bed at 5:30am.
3. To be able to watch any TV show that doesn’t contain singing, glitter, or or whatever it is that DJ Lance does.
4. How about to go see a movie on opening weekend and not have to wait until it’s on FX three years later because you can’t find a good babysitter.
5. A trip to the bathroom that didn’t include a child pounding on the door like Seal Team 6 raiding Bin Laden’s safe house.