8 LESSONS I LEARNED TO FROM FAILED RELATIONSHIP, For a long time I, like any other person, considered my failed relationships to be totally uncomfortable thing, resulting in the feelings of uncertainty, sorrow and guilt. But when I split up with my boyfriend I started thinking about what I could learn from my failed relationship instead of suffering and feeling helpless. I looked at the situation from another perspective and saw so much wisdom in it. Here are 8 lessons I learned from my recent failed relationship.
1. He won’t change
This is the biggest illusion I cherished throughout our relationship. I don’t mean I wanted him to be someone else. But there are always things that annoy you or irritate or just make uncomfortable. After some time of being together I realized that all those cute drawbacks about him turned out into real headaches. You know, when you learn to accept instead of expect you will have fewer disappointments. And I couldn’t accept a lot of things about him and I was trying to change him. But it didn’t work. Either you accept the person or leave him.
2. …neither will I
And that was his turn to get disappointed. It’s difficult to reach a compromise, especially for two grown-up independent individuals. I understand that any relationship will be successful without concessions but very often girls and guys have a totally different idea of what a relationship is. And that was my case.
3. Common goals
Antoine de Saint-Exupery once said, “To love is not to look at one another, but to look together in the same direction.” I cannot but agree with his words since it’s the basis of any strong relationship. And it’s really disappointing when you discover that your partner intends to create a family and live happily when you want to travel, party and develop your professional potential. If the two have different goals, it will be difficult for them to start a family together.
4. Personal boundaries are important
Personal space, interests and me-time are extremely important to both of you and when a person thinks that you belong to him it’s a big problem. When you are committed to someone you want to know everything about this person. But I had an impression that I was always controlled by my beloved. I failed to set my personal boundaries and as a result our relationship collapsed. But now I know for sure that I will never tolerate controlling my incoming calls and messages or checking the list of my friends and intervening in my private space. SEE MORE ON PAGE2