If you in a long term relationship that you believe is altar-bound, but your beau is dragging his feet about popping the question? Well, fret no more! Here are five steps that will help to put your worried mind at ease.
Figure out if you’re looking for a proposal or just validation: Write down three reasons you want him to propose. If you find yourself thinking that a proposal will show that he really loves you or you’re worried that if he doesn’t propose he might break up with you, you may not be ready to get married. If your partnership is strong, you’ll know that he loves and is committed to you, and you won’t need an offer of marriage to tell you that.
Wait as long as you can: Especially if you’re in your 20s. He could be waiting to get a better job, he could be saving for the ring or he could just be waiting until he’s a little older — none of this means he doesn’t want to marry you. And keep in mind that the longer you wait, the stronger your relationship will be.
If want kids and you’re worried about your fertility, tell him: If having kids is more important to you than your relationship, make sure he knows how you feel — but be careful about giving him an explicit ultimatum, which could come across as manipulative. For a softer approach, here are some things you can say. Before you do, make sure you’re in a setting where he can be receptive; it’s harder to have a successful conversation if one person is distracted: “I love you, and I want you to be the father of my children. The thing is I’ve been doing some research, and it looks like my chances of having a healthy pregnancy go way down if I wait another year or two. Can we talk about this?” Or “I’m feeling really nervous about telling you something but it’s so important to me that I feel like I have to just say it, so here goes. I want to have kids with you and I’m worried that if we don’t get married soon it could be too late for us. I love you and I want this to work for us.”
Talk to a professional: If you’re having trouble sleeping, feel overly anxious, or worry that your relationship is interfering with your life, you might want to talk to a life coach or a therapist. Many problems can be resolved in just a few sessions and if you have a more serious condition, a professional can help you identify it.
Can’t wait? Ask him yourself! Sure, it’s uncommon, but that certainly doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t do it.