How To Carry Out Effective Parenting Quiz?



parenting_quiz_RESIZEParents are masters of multitasking. Doing laundry and making dinner at the same time? No problem. Catching up on reading while working out on the treadmill? A cinch. Oddly enough, I’ve also come to realize that some of my best parenting happens when it’s blended into everyday moments of life. I call it “nooks and cranny parenting” — when parenting comes naturally, like blinking your eyes. And just like we teach our kids, for anything to become natural, we have to practice. That’s why I’ve developed this very unscientific way to self-evaluate myself every few weeks. I think of it as my personal report card in my journey to becoming an effective parent. Right now I score an 83. Not bad, but I always have room to improve, So take the quiz, or use it as motivation to create your own list. How does the scoring work? It’s a 1 to 10 scale for each of the 10 following categories. A “10” means you are a master and a “5” is average.

Show the Love : Showing love is not the same as giving your child tangible objects. It’s reminding them, telling them and reinforcing every day that they are a person of value in your life. Even when you are going through a rough spot, remind your children that your love is unconditional, and that with you, they are always safe, physically and emotionally. We all have a different “love language,” and we all show our love in different ways — hugs, cuddling, foot rubs — and those expressions change as children grow older.


Your score: __________

Listen & Lecture

As a new dad, I thought it was my job to inquire a lot: “How was your day?” “With whom did you sit?” But I realized that those questions evolved into regular sessions of “20 Questions.” There’s a fine line between showing interest and talking too much. And there’s a very distinct line between showing interest and lecturing too much. I use the rule, especially with teens, of trying to listen about 80 percent of the time, rather than talking. I absorb and offer reaffirming nods that show I’m listening, and I care. Kids need that. They don’t need you to respond to everything. They just want to know that you’re listening. And for the moments you need to lecture, keep it brief!

Your score: __________

Practice Inside-Out Praising

Kids need praise, just like you and I. They need regular reminders of their good qualities, and they also need affirmation that they are not just an extension of you. Don’t compare a child to their siblings or other children—it can make him feel inferior. Celebrate your child’s uniqueness. Help him see that his differences are what make him interesting. Praise his character (things like grit, commitment, curiosity, tenacity), and when you want to praise external qualities, try to integrate the word “healthy.” (“You look so beautiful and healthy!”)

Your score: __________


Instill Emotional Intelligence
Children need to understand ranges of emotions, no matter their age. One of the things I’ve learned is that many children are only familiar with happy or sad feelings. Their understanding of the broader spectrum of feelings (fear, embarrassment, anxiety, nervousness, etc.) is limited. And because of that, they are not equipped to manage themselves and often turn to inappropriate or unhealthy behavior when soothing is needed (eating, drinking, violence). As parents, we need to model appropriate behavior for our children. We also need to explain our own feelings and, when appropriate, help our children understand their feelings. The more kids are educated about their emotions, the healthier they will be.

Your score: __________

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