By Clint Carter
I have a few buddies—married men, now—who used to drink and sleep around like you wouldn’t believe. In college, their dorm rooms smelled like gym shorts and beer cans. If I’d given it any thought at all (which, I admit, I didn’t), I would have sworn they’d never get married, or at the very least, that they’d be the last of our group to pop the question.
But over the last few years, I’ve seen these knuckleheads change from keg-stand champions to husbands and—gulp—even fathers, because at some point, something changed in them. And that’s a common story with guys: We never seem ready to settle down until, well, we are.
Knowing these guys through their philandering years and into matrimonial bliss has helped me recognize some of the ways guys change when they start to think long-term about relationships. So if you’re wondering whether a guy sees himself as serially single or ready to lock it down, here are a few of the telltale signs he’s not ready for the ring:
He Can’t Make Big Decisions
His reluctance to marry might not be about you at all. If he can’t decide on, say, what career path he wants to follow or where he wants to live, he probably doesn’t know himself well enough to settle down yet.
When He Talks About His Future, He Doesn’t Talk About You
In 10 years he wants to be a CEO with a huge yacht and a leash-trained lion named Simba. Great. As he’s musing out loud about these plans, does he speculate on how you’ll fit in? If he’s talking about moving to São Paulo, does he ask if you like warm weather? Because these things matter. Even if he’s just joking around, it’s a bad sign if he constantly talks about his future self as a lone wolf—unless, of course, you’re the lion on the leash, which would make for some very strange role playing. SEE MORE ON PAGE2